With God as my Witness
by Lady Sapphirra
Summary: Ren knows it's time to confess both what's in his heart and what's been weighing on it. When Kyoko discovers that the man she she has fallen for once again isn't what he seems...what will be the verdict...or rather the ultimatum? Where in the world is Kyoko Mogami?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material or characters licensed by the authors or producers of SKIP BEAT! But I do so love their work ;) So here is my fan fiction. Without further ado…..**

Kyoko paced the room nervously, hands sweating. 'Tsuruga-san doesn't normally call me out like this….' Kyoko's train of thought stopped her dead in her tracks. He couldn't possibly have realized…could he? Kyoko shook her head as if to shake off the oogies. Impossible, completely impossible, she was an actress worth her salt was she not? Was it possible though, that lo- ; no she refused to use that word, if she admitted it more than once she could never keep up the façade, that...that feeling….could destroy her greatest and most important act she would ever put on in her life? Kyoko balled her fists, feeling defiance with every ounce of her being. 'NO, at least in this one instance, I cannot lose to Tsuruga Ren.'

"Kyoko –chan?" Smoothing her face into an innocent, childlike gaze she glanced behind her at Tsuruga Ren, top actor in the industry, devastatingly handsome, and the man she was hopelessly in love with, though he didn't know and she refused to admit to it. How she had gotten there was whole other story all together. Yet here she was, wondering how many women got called out by a man such as him.

"Tsuruga-san, you're rather early. You couldn't possibly be hungry could you? Are you feeling ill?" Kyoko rushed to feel his forehead. Justas she laid her hands upon his skin, she realized what she was doing and where she was doing it and began to redden deeply. Ren just laughed oddly out of tune with his normal gestures. He looked a bit….nervous actually. Kyoko laughed nervously along with him.

"It's alright Mogami-san, I ensured that the restaurant was reserved for just us and I assure you that I am feeling perfectly fine." Ren put his hand to where she had touched him and then proceeded to slick back his hair, appearing non-chalant. The spot where she had touched him was still warm. Though when he thought about what he was about to tell her he doubted she'd ever touch him again. It might even make her blood run cold. He chuckled beside himself in angst. God, why did he wait so long to tell her? The girl in question was looking at him strangely. No, she wasn't a girl any longer was she? The woman in front of him was the only thing in the world he longed for and though it may be incredibly selfish of him, he wanted her on his own terms. Which meant…..she had to know. In turn this meant…

"Tsuruga-san, I don't mean to interrupt your deep internal monologue but….." Kyoko's stomach rumbled loudly. She made a face and tugged at her shirt as if to try and conceal her stomach's urging that she eat something and soon. One thing is for sure, if she didn't hate him after this, he would certainly never be bored. They made their way to the table and conversation seemed impossible. Kyoko was so focused on Ren that she nearly spilled her juice twice. Though unlike usual Ren didn't seem to take notice.

"That napkin is there for a reason, you know. Can't have my kouhai looking inelegant now, can we?" Strike that. Kyoko made a strangled laugh born from her nerves. Did he seriously rent out a whole restaurant for breakfast just to chastise her or avoid being seen? If that was the case why even ask her to accompany him at all. Seemed like an extravagant cost in any case. Rich people and their luxuries. Kyoko knew for certain the first thing she'd do with such money….

"Miss Mogami, I confess I did not ask you here on a mere whim. I have something I need to discuss with you and I took whatever measures necessary to ensure no one would interrupt us or overhear us." He looked about the room. No chance of causing a scene, if there was a scene it would be easily contained.

"I can't imagine what you might need to rent a restaurant out to tell me." Kyoko twisted her hands nervously beneath the table, above the table a small smile rested on her lips. He didn't know. He COULDN'T know. She wouldn't allow it. So that meant it had to be something else. Perhaps...land mine. Kyoko furrowed her brow as Ren continued to gaze at the edge of the table just before it touched he form.

"I have been meaning to tell you for a long time. A lot longer than you might expect..." He sighed, nerves bundling. It was never a good sign when Kyoko could visibly see emotion in Ren. That meant this was something very troubling to him. Tsuruga-san slouched, he never slouches!

"I am certain that as many times as Tsuruga-san has listened to me, I can be of use to him." Kyoko smiled as brightly as her insides would allow.

"My name i...hnhnnnh-hnnn..." Ren garbled under his breath, head resting in his hands. Kyoko squinted...what did he say? Was she supposed to understand that?

"I'm sorry Tsuruga-san...wha..." Kyoko cocked her head with a worried smile.

"I said my name is Kuon Hizuri." he said calmly, but loudly. His fingers tensed and then balled into his hands. " I don't think you will think very highly after what I have to tell you. But first you should know that the name I was given at birth is Kuon Hizuri, not Tsuruga Ren." Ren waited for it to click but nothing seemed to register in her eyes. Geez it was like punching a wall and waiting for it to hit you back with this woman. Did she not spend days with his father parading around as young Kuon?

"I get it! So, Tsuruga Ren is like a stage name right? Kuon does sound a bit funny. Rather like I've heard it before. Is this what you're worried about? Did someone maybe find out your real name and leak it to the press? I mean, that can't be too bad can it? But Hizuri does sound familiar..." Kyoko said brightly, laying her finger to her chin in deep thought. Ren sighed. The only thing that ever worked with this one was the blunt and the obvious.

"My father goes by the name Kuu Hizuri, though he more commonly referred to as Hozu Shuusei..." Ren trailed waiting or it to click. A fire lit in her eyes which was quickly concealed.

"So, you were...young Kuon. Did you ever say anything or see him?" Kyoko asked defensively. The only reason she knew what family felt like was because of that man.

"Yes, I am Kuon." Ren admitted and put his elbows on the table, folded in his arms, and interlaced his hands to lean upon them and peer over them at Kyoko as he began to unfold his story. "But I fear, the worst of my betrayals has yet to come."


	2. Chapter 2

Hello to all those lovely people who have favorite, followed, and reviewed my story thus far (which is sadly only one chapter in HOWEVER, I fully intend to update more often.)! Without further ado here is Chapter Two!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Skip Beat or any of its characters! Thank you. **

Kyoko stared at Ren blankly. She remembered back when Ren was acting as Cain Heel and Cain Heel's starring role, BJ. There were moments that Tsuruga-san appeared to be somewhere else entirely, as if he had almost disappeared. Those frightening moments that were violent and spiteful…..and dangerous…. was that ….Kuon? Kyoko shook her head. That simply couldn't be Kuon, the boy she'd developed, the boy who Tsuruga-san had matched his feelings perfectly, could never turn out to be that person. The type of person who embraced violence; who thrived on angry, blood thirsty emotion. If she was in love with this man before her, just which part of him did she love? More importantly which one was the mask and which one was genuine?

"But I fear, the worst of my betrayals is yet to come." He spoke softly peering at her over his long well-manicured hands. Ren felt a stone drop into his stomach but his face remained passive. Kyoko's face may have been blank but her jaw was clenched and he'd bet anything beneath the table her hands were sweaty and clenched into little fists. She was angry and he supposed she had every right to be.

"….." Kyoko remained silent.

" You may know the Hizuri family filmed for a long period of time outside a small village in Kyoto. The reason I treated you so coldly upon you entrance to LME is because I feared you would recognize me…" Ren trailed a sad smile playing softly on his lips. No, not Ren, Kuon. But which is which?

"Recognize you? I knew no one by the name of Kuon Hizuri. How could I have possibly been a threat?"

"You were very young when I met you it Kyoto, so I'm afraid you actually mispronounced my name…..and it ended up sounding like….."

"Corn….." Kyoko was hit with a resounding thud of realization. Her features darkened and she knew this was what he had been waiting for. The bomb he had meant to drop, so to speak. She felt so stupid, so used, like such a fool….

"I had meant to tell you. I honestly hadn't meant to take it so far. Your heart was just so pure and honest I couldn't bring myself to break the illusion." Ren swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched Kyoko's whole world come crashing down around her. Why did he let it go so far? Kyoko began to laugh. Ren was taken aback a bit but he merely watched her. The laughter felt a bit…off. It felt dark.

"Who was I kidding right? Thinking that someone so ethereal could truly exist….just the dream of a child who wanted nothing more than to be spirited away by whatever means possible. For me, fairytales were the escape. I convinced myself to be in love with Fuwa Sho, just as I have convinced myself that I am love with Tsuruga Ren. "

Ren's eyes widened at her speech. She was…..in love with him? He watched her now, her body was contorting a bit and she made a wobbly movement to exit the table and walked over toward the wide bay windows. For as unstable as she surely felt, he applauded her efforts to appear strong. Everything about Kyoko was beautiful to Ren. Even the parts she hated, the darker parts of herself, he could embrace those. There were things and times Ren didn't know of, emotion of hers he had never seen. He hoped like hell that this would be a turning point for them. But her speech didn't die there. He knew Kyoko would not be so forgiving. Her body remained turned, facing the window. She could hardly stand to look at him, he figured.

"Why do you wear that watch? I remember during our time as the Heel siblings, even then you had carried it with you. It was stopped at a very odd time. Not only that but you reacted oddly when performing as Cain Heel. There were times when a completely different person acted in your stead. It was a bit frightening, almost like you were possessed." Kyoko turned and looked at him with cold empty eyes, the stare was almost chilling. Did she really say she had loved him not five minutes ago?

"I have a rather violent past and it's not something I am particularly proud of. I lost myself trying to achieve something separate from my parent's success. I was looked down upon for the mixture of my blood. I was a very angry person for a very long time. I had a sort of rage that was nearly uncontrollable."

Ren felt a bit ashamed, though he had made a sort of truce with his past self, the honest truth was he hadn't welcomed back many of the emotions that belonged to Kuon. The fight was in his blood and he knew it would probably never truly leave. It was probably what had made the Heel sibling act so unstable for him; it has been that much easier to relapse.

"There's more to the story than that isn't there? Something else you're not telling me. But I want to know. I need to know the truth. I need to know why I've been played the fool. Why it is that Kuon's biggest landmine is the word 'murderer'? Did you…were you responsible for someone's death?" Kyoko hung her head low, leaning against the table, invading Ren's space. Her face had darkened, she was terrified. Ren couldn't blame her. He reached out and swept back the hair out of her face. She flinched and Ren took it with a grain of salt.

"I separated myself from my parents for a while and grew close to a man named Rick. He was a former gang member made good and I expect he had meant to help me grow strong and turn my life around after seeing me in too many bloody fist fights. Rick was…..my omurice master. Rick was engaged to be married to a woman named Tina. I'm not sure why Rick was so adamant about building my strength. Perhaps he thought I would be his predecessor. I was just so angry, I kept looking for fights, and I would go out on my own. One night, I was in a particularly nasty one after some thugs had ganged up on me. I had beaten most of them within inches of their lives, though no man I had hot had ever died of his injuries. Rick and Tina had come after me one thug from the group had ran off and escaped my blind rage. I ran across the street after him to exact his just rewards for calling me a half breed. Rick had followed me into the street, he called out my name, just as I turned he was struck by a car. Tina had hurriedly cradled Rick in her arms, trying her best to keep him alive until help could arrive. Rick taking in such an angry kid had never sat right with her. She called me a murderer. She told me it would have been better if I had died in his stead. The watch was Rick's, it had broken when he was struck, and therefore, the time had stopped. This was the time that Rick had died. I kept it so as to remind myself of all the horrible things I have done. I deprived a woman and man who loved each other the chance to live happily together. And for what? Rage and anger? Acceptance? Those are just excuses."

Kyoko's face revealed nothing. Ren was pouring his heart out to her, the least she could do is show some type of response-

"You think that's enough?"

"Excuse me?"

"You think wearing some stupid watch makes you sorry for what you did to that woman and that man? I'm asking if you truly think that makes you even?"

"What—"

"Have you seen her since the night he was killed? Did you take care of the woman he left behind like a friend would truly do?"

"She would not want to see me Kyoko. She surely would not accept any help from me—"

"How do you know that? What's worse I get the astounding feeling that this is also why you can't play a decent love role! You've never been in love with anyone!"

"You're wrong."

"You have this misguided belief that because you deprived someone else of their chance to live a happily ever after, you shouldn't get one either. Whether or not you believe you deserve one… that is another matter."

"Kyoko….."

"Love is not rainbows and butterflies! It's painful and harsh and cruel and be honest, you are not avoiding love because of your sense of honor, you're doing it to protect yourself!"

Ren grabbed Kyoko and crushed his lips on to hers. It was certainly not a gentleman's kiss. But rough and savage. It was a Kuon kiss. She felt the angles of his body that pressed against her own. She liked it. She didn't want to like it but she did. He pulled away fast, leaving her a bit breathless.

"Kyoko, I lov—"

Ren felt a stinging pain across his left cheek. It began to throb as he eyed Kyoko. Her eyes filled with angry tears.

"How dare you." She sputtered. "You made a fool out of me; you do not get to say anything! Especially not that." Kyoko stomped her foot to make her point.

"…"

Ren remained silent. He had imagined this going badly, but not this badly. She had turned and began walking toward the exit. Just before exiting the hall she peered over her slender right shoulder and spoke to him calmly but with passion.

"I can't even look at you until you begin to fix this, if it can even be fixed. I think I'll be spending some time away from the agency. Don't look for me."

With that Ren watched the woman he loved, his saving grace walk out of his life. And he'd be damned if his cheek wasn't going to bruise.


End file.
